love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
