so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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