yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize