tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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