Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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