My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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