Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
