Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
