Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
two words: eviction party
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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