then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
