he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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