Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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