Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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