I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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