And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
