I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
