i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
