evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
