i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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