I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
