What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize