Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize