are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We're too hungover to prance.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
