his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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