dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
