in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
