I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
