When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
