yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
