i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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