I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
