It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
