I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
