I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
