I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
