Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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