So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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