Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My vagina just recognized that song.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize