We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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