Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
