dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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