Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
