let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
