Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
