I love black thongs
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
