I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize