Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
