We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize