Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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