ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
