There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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