worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize