Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
3 2 1 whiskey
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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