I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
