Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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