Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
