Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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