You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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