But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
