I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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