New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize