I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
