My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
