Is it normal to miss your booty call?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
